Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Kenny Boy: Conspiracy Theories are flying

around the web this morning, and no wonder. My first thought was "suicide", then "CIA-assisted suicide", then "how dead is he? Zarqawi dead? DB Cooper dead?" Just for fun, I considered a couple of theories.

(1) It's feasible that he's kickin' it somewhere in the Carribean right now, laughing his ass off and spending all the money he stole. For someone with Lay's resources, how hard would it be to fake your own death? Especially given how tight he was with the Bush administration, relocation in some Witness Protection-type program would be do-able.

(2) A more sinister theory is that he was whacked to keep him quiet... he knew where the bodies were buried. He knew a lot about the Cheney Energy Task Force. He was looking at spending the rest of his life in prison, and anyone facing that kind of time doesn't have a lot to lose. (Granted, "prison" for Lay probably would have had a golf course and gourmet meals, but
it's still prison.) He was to be sentenced in September, elections coming up in November. Maybe he threatened to squeal if the administration didn't give him a pass on this. Hmmm.

Or maybe he just had a heart attack and dropped dead. In any event, I think they should take a picture of his corpse and frame it to show on the news, like they did with Zarqawi. Not that I sympathize with Zarqawi, he was a badass for sure, but Lay hurt more Americans than
Zarqawi ever did.