Serial Haggardposting
Okay, I had a moment of thoughtfulness and sensitivity regarding the Haggard scandal, now I'm back in ridicule and derision mode. Indulge me: it's just so totally schadenfreudalicious when pompous, pious right-wing hypocrites fall. (I was serial Foleyposting for days.) And in Haggard's case, I readily admit to deriving a special joy from the fact that he's the #2 religious right wingnut, second only to James Dobson, who also happens to be in-like-flynn with George W Bush:
"I'm a right-wing religious conservative. The only difference between me and George Bush is he drives a ford and I drive a chevy." (Pastor Ted)
As well as his credentials as a preacher, meth head, serial liar and gay adulterer, Haggard's also a fairly prolific writer, churning out everything from the usual religious crap to diet books (and of course he knows how to really stay thin *wink*). One of his books, Letters From Home, is written in the form of instructional letters to his kids. The first letter is portentously titled: Live as if there were no secrets. Pastor Ted says "Think of people who tried to keep something secret... Today's biggest headlines are stories about people who thought they were doing something that was secret..." Then there's "Be dressed and ready to serve god" (or undressed and ready to serve Mike), and the timely "Learn to manage conflict" (especially internal conflict).
But religious right whackos are a hard sell. Reading the commentary across the right-wingnut blogosphere, it's apparent that some still look askance at the accusations, and under the right circumstances might even forgive Haggard. The "right circumstances" in this case would be one of those moronic "Healing Homosexuality" courses someone can take when they've fallen from the godly wagon of straightness into the abyss of gayness. (It's surprising how many such websites there are, but I consider them hate sites and won't link to them. To taste the crazy, go google.)
But what's this I see? Pastor Ted has finally fessed up. Describing his gayness as a "repulsive and dark part of his life" (news flash, Ted, it's who you are: get over it.), Haggard's admitted that he did take a few strolls on the wild side. Mike Jones, the escort Haggard employed for 3 years, said "I hope the healing process can start". Healing indeed. How long before he checks himself into one of these "gay to straight" rehab centers? If he does that, he's even more of a fuckhead than I thought.
"I'm a right-wing religious conservative. The only difference between me and George Bush is he drives a ford and I drive a chevy." (Pastor Ted)
As well as his credentials as a preacher, meth head, serial liar and gay adulterer, Haggard's also a fairly prolific writer, churning out everything from the usual religious crap to diet books (and of course he knows how to really stay thin *wink*). One of his books, Letters From Home, is written in the form of instructional letters to his kids. The first letter is portentously titled: Live as if there were no secrets. Pastor Ted says "Think of people who tried to keep something secret... Today's biggest headlines are stories about people who thought they were doing something that was secret..." Then there's "Be dressed and ready to serve god" (or undressed and ready to serve Mike), and the timely "Learn to manage conflict" (especially internal conflict).
But religious right whackos are a hard sell. Reading the commentary across the right-wingnut blogosphere, it's apparent that some still look askance at the accusations, and under the right circumstances might even forgive Haggard. The "right circumstances" in this case would be one of those moronic "Healing Homosexuality" courses someone can take when they've fallen from the godly wagon of straightness into the abyss of gayness. (It's surprising how many such websites there are, but I consider them hate sites and won't link to them. To taste the crazy, go google.)
But what's this I see? Pastor Ted has finally fessed up. Describing his gayness as a "repulsive and dark part of his life" (news flash, Ted, it's who you are: get over it.), Haggard's admitted that he did take a few strolls on the wild side. Mike Jones, the escort Haggard employed for 3 years, said "I hope the healing process can start". Healing indeed. How long before he checks himself into one of these "gay to straight" rehab centers? If he does that, he's even more of a fuckhead than I thought.
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