Thursday, April 12, 2007

"We're sorry... so sorry..."

From that bottomless pit of wingnuttery, bigotry, misogyny and bad science known as "Lifesite" comes the news that several far-right wanker organizations have taken it upon themselves to "apologize to the world". Not, as one might expect, for their own ongoing spew of ridiculous and backward absurdities, but for Canada's recognition of human rights in the form of same-sex marriage.

"We, the people of Canada who support marriage solely as the union of a man and a woman, apologize to the people of the world for harm done through Canada’s legalization of homosexual marriage."

(Trying hard... real hard... to maintain civility here... NAAHHH, fuck it!)

On one hand, I find it amusing that these cretins, who make up but a tiny part of the Canadian public, have the gonads to make such pronouncements to the world. They remind me of animal rights extremists who are so convinced that their view is The Right One that they do things like free domestic turkeys, resulting in their immediate death by predation, and then they're dismayed to find that nobody supports them. So-called "socons" don't represent much of Canada, but they're so goddamn sure they're right that they act like they're the majority. It'd almost be cute if it didn't occasionally have real-world consequences.

The list of signatories on the apology includes such 20-amp lightbulbs as R.E.A.L. Women, the Canada Family Action Coalition, the Christian Heritage Party, and a mixed-nut assortment of other bastions of bigotry. All people who neither represent "Canadian values", which include tolerance and acceptance of diversity, nor stand for anything that's particularly helpful to the majority of Canadians, especially the 50% that are female.

The hyperbole goes on to warn that because of Canada's stand on equal marriage, the apocalypse is surely at hand:

"We are grieved and troubled as we consider the impact this is having in weakening the fundamental institution of marriage in countries and cultures around the world. We understand that because Canada does not impose citizenship or residency requirements in order for same-sex individuals to be “married” here, couples are coming to Canada to seek legal sanction for their homosexual relationships with the intent of returning to their own countries to challenge those countries’ legal definition of marriage."

First Canada, then the world! The Queering of the Universe!

These fucking nitwits whine continuously about the "sanctity of marriage" and the weakening of said institution, but have yet to offer any real reason why they think this is the case. To me, it's a no-brainer: if more people are getting married, the institution becomes stronger, no? If a formerly marginalized community becomes part of the larger community by entering one of the larger community's institutions, marriage, should that not make the whole community stronger?

They end their missive on an ominous note:

"Our warning to you, the people of the world, is to learn from our mistakes and avoid repeating them in your own countries. Forewarned should be forearmed."

And the world's warning in return might be "Stop obsessing about other people's sex lives and take up stamp collecting, or basketweaving, or masturbating, or anything that'll keep your noses out of everyone else's crotches!"