Dick Cheney emerged from his Undisclosed Location and hunched his way to the hospital today. Nothing serious (must. not. make. joke.) -- I guess he's still under warranty so it's time for his 50,000-mile tune-up:"WASHINGTON — Vice President Dick Cheney was in the hospital today for minor surgery to replace the battery that powers a device monitoring his heart rhythms."
Heart rhythms? What heart?? The bomb-like device ticking away in that old bastard's chest (tick tick tick) can't be a heart. A two-stroke engine of some kind maybe, but not an actual human heart. Unless they've installed one of the beating, bleeding Iraqi hearts he lugs around in his briefcase in case he gets hungry. Cheney's own heart, the one he was born with, collapsed long ago under the weight of sheer evil. Something is ticking in there, but only Cheney's cardiac surgeon knows for sure what it is.
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