Tuesday, August 28, 2007

It's hard out there for a Pastor

Lest I get so carried away with the outrageous subversion of democracy unfolding right before my eyes that I lose my sense of humour, I'd like to revisit an old favourite of mine, Pastor Ted Haggard. When we last left Pastor Ted, he'd amazingly beaten the Dobmeister's estimate of a 4 - 5 year cure for Teh Ghey, and with counseling he cured himself of being gay in less than 4 months; well done! Now he just needs to cure himself of being broke:

"COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. - The Rev. Ted Haggard, who left the megachurch he founded after admitting to "sexual immorality," has asked supporters for financial assistance while he and his wife pursue their studies." [...]

"Haggard left the 10,000-member New Life Church late last year and resigned as head of the National Association of Evangelicals after a former male escort accused Haggard of paying him for sex." [...]

"Haggard received a salary of $115,000 for the 10 months he worked in 2006 and an $85,000 anniversary bonus before the scandal broke, The Gazette reported. Haggard's severance package included a year's salary of $138,000, and he collects royalties on his book titles, the newspaper reported."

Pastor Ted burned through over $138grand in less than 10 months?!! Speaking of counseling, it sounds like some counseling of the financial kind might be in order.

But aside from that, one would think that the 10,000 fine upstanding members of his former megachurch would be willing to give their old Pastor Ted a hand up. Let's see now, if each of them ponied up a mere $1/month, Pastor Ted would at least have a subsistence-level $10grand a month to live on (plus royalties). He'd have to cut a few corners (no meth, no hookers), but it could be done. There's copious quantities of evidence that these churchy peeps love throwing their money away on phony-ass preachers, so it should be a slam-dunk, right?