Friday Morning Shrieeeeek

Lifesite: I read it so you don't have to. Onward:

They're peakin', freakin' and SHRIEEEEEKin' all the way to a collective nervous breakdown on lifeshite today, and what's got them so exercised this time? It's California's gay marriage law, which will become effective when County Clerks start issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples in about 2 weeks:

"SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — California officials are telling county clerks that they can start issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples on June 17."

"No more 'brides' and 'grooms'!" screeches lifeshite.

No more brides and grooms? Great snappin' assholes, take a valium. As long as people are buying into the marriage bill of goods, there'll always be brides and grooms. The only difference is some brides will be marrying other brides and some grooms will be marrying other grooms, but so what? Oh wait, what's this...

"New marriage license forms also will include lines for "Party A" and "Party B" instead of bridge and groom."

Oh, so that's what they've got their size 18 granny-panties in a twist over. "Party A" and "Party B" -- the Apocalypse must surely be upon us. But what's the difference between that and their version, "Tab A in Slot B"?

Quitters

It didn't happen. The coast-to-coast explosion of gayitude that the "Institute of Marriage & Family" warned would happen if gay marriage wasn't stopped!(!!)... uhhhhh ... didn't happen. By the numbers, it appears that gay people are about as interested in getting married as straight people -- not so much. So IMF director Dave Quist (who ran as a Tory in my riding, ugh) has decided the battle against same-sex marriage isn't worth the trouble:

OTTAWA — The head of a national pro-family organization says it’s time to ditch the fight against gay marriage and push instead for tax breaks and other incentives to make marriage and child rearing more attractive options. Dave Quist, executive director of the Institute of Marriage and Family Canada, said Thursday he has become less concerned about same-sex marriage since census figures released earlier this month demonstrated how rare gay marriage is.

Now the IMF will be setting its sights on those Living In Sin common-law straight couples, trying to convince them (through proposed tax benefits like income splitting) to get hitched or get off the pot. This is stupid and wrong on many levels, of course, foremost of which is that it's Nobody's Business how people conduct their love lives, whether they choose to marry or not. And even if there was a sudden upsurge in the popularity of marriage, you can bet that the IMF and their ilk would be looking to take it to the next level, maybe demanding laws that only recognize religious wedding ceremonies as true marriages. Everything else would have those fucking "scare quotes" they put around "everything" they don't "approve of". Because these people can never be satisfied... that's why their movement is imploding.

Meanwhile... pssst, gay peeps! The coast is clear! Make a run for the nearest JP and ring those wedding bells!

(h/t apply liberally)