Friday, November 03, 2006

OK, I'm taking bets

on how long it'll be before the good reverend Ted Haggard checks himself into rehab for meth addiction, because that's typically where fallen wingnuts go to get away from it all. I say he's packing right now!

Amid the accusations yesterday that the homophobic Reverend Ted has been boinking a guy (and using meth to heighten the sensation) for 3 years, Haggard resigned from his post as head of the New Life Church and president of the National Association of Evangelicals (membership: 30 million homo-hating asswipes). Late yesterday an email to his 14,000 church members confirmed their worst fears: Haggard had confessed to some of the allegations.

And the plot thickens. Now Haggard's saying he bought the meth, but never used it": uh-huh. According to the voice mails revealed today by Haggard's gay booty call, Mike Jones, he bought it and never used it at least twice. And of course, meth addicts never lie. Especially addicts that are already lying about so many other important little factoids. Today the story continues to evolve. Now Haggard says he bought the meth, didn't use it, and the only service he paid Jones for was a massage. Yeah right, a massage to what -- his prostate?

I recognized Rev. Ted right away as the evangelical leader featured on the CBC's show "The Big Picture", in which atheist Richard Dawkins interviewed religious wingnuts of various stripes. I recall Haggard being a typically, maddeningly full of himself christianist whackjob: the hypocrisy is mindblowing.

Now, if the same thing were to happen to Canada's own Charles McVety, even I might start thinking there's a god.