Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Support the troops, make sure they don't jerk off

The troops in Iraq may not have body armour, but they've got... "SEXUAL PURITY KITS".

"Sexual Purity Kits" are the brainchild of those krazy sex-obsessed kristians at the New Life Ministry. NLM became worried about the troops -- not because they're getting shot at and blown up, not because they're getting treated like shit when they come home injured, but because in the war zone, on their downtime, they might be looking at PORN and giving themselves a tiny bit of pleasure in that deadly shithole. The kits contain a bible and 4 other godly little books that lecture on the evils of onanism and presumably suggest ways to avoid it (sit on hands?). Writing on Townhall.com, Concerned Women of America's Janet M. LaRue says "Our military and our kids have a common enemy -- pornography." Concerned Woman LaRue is concerned not so much about keeping the troops alive and in one piece, but keeping them from the illicit spilling of seed brought on by surfing porn sites.

"In Iraq, alcohol and pornography - including Internet porn - are banned for enlisted personnel out of sensitivity to adherents of the country's dominant religion, Islam. But despite the prohibitions and blocking software on military computers, Father Mark Reilly, who served as a Marine chaplain in Iraq this year, said increasing numbers of both men and women serving in Iraq have access to porn and have become addicted."

Enter the Purity Kit, which won't do anything to keep the troops safe, but it'll keep their hands where LaRue et al can see them.

(via Pandagon)