A War on Christmas Carol

Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull, "A Christmas Song"

We're down to the wire, troops

... only one more sleep until the final apocalyptic battle in the War on Christmas. I've assembled all my anti-Christmas artillery, and my War on Christmas tree is loaded. The anti-War on Christmas insurgency continues apace, with some sectarian disputes arising. And suddenly...

...BOOM! Reports from the Front Lines are coming in: the War on Christmas surge is working!

A Creative Revolution reports on the Pagan origins of the Christmas Saturnalia tree!

The Galloping Beaver has more on the dark Pagan underside of Christmas and ponders whether the War on Christmas should be moved back three days... a sure sign that it's all but won!

Rants from the Rookery reports on the crucifixion of Santa Claus and naked drunken Santas running amok!

Update: Creekside reports that sectarian War on Christmas dissension has led to some defecting to our side! The good news just keeps coming!

It's the Mother of All War on Christmas battles: Bring 'em on!!

Battle Hymn of the War on Christmas republic

Fairy Tale of New York, the Pogues & Kirsty McColl:



The War on Christmas crie de la guerre: "Happy Christmas yer arse!"

Winter Solstice: Time to get serious

about the War on Christmas.

The rightie-tightie religicons maintain that for some years now, "the leftists" have been feverishly waging an unrelenting War on Christmas. Our Mission: to destroy Christmas by any means necessary. We wouldn't rest (ye merry gentlemen) until Christmas lay in smoldering ruins, then we'd piss on it to douse the remaining fire.

However, it appears that we are failing in Our Mission. StageLeft has been monitoring the progress of the War on Christmas by tracking successful attacks by Warriors on Christmas, and to date, not even a single skirmish has been won. Nobody has been kept from celebrating Christmas, saying "Merry Christmas", buying Christmas presents, or making that gross Christmas fruitcake. In spite of our best efforts, Christmas is winning.

I tried my best. I said "Merry War on Christmas" to customers at work. I asked people if they were "all ready for the War on Christmas". I went out this morning and bought some War On Christmas presents. My War on Christmas lights have been a-twinkling in the window for over 2 weeks. Tomorrow I'll decorate my War on Christmas tree. But even with all that effort, the War on Christmas seems to be a lost cause. The shock and awe that we were sworn to unleash on Christmas turned out to be... a dud.

We only have two more days to make this happen, troops. Do you suppose a War on Christmas Surge would work?

So it begins:

The War On Christmas, 2007. Tonight I turned on my War On Christmas lights:Sadly, being a War On Christmas veteran doesn't qualify me for cheap beer at the Legion.