Canada Post has temporarily suspended its "Write to Santa" program while it tries to track down the Rogue Santa who sent some innappropriate replies:"There was absolutely nothing Ho Ho Ho about the letters Rosalyn Da Costa's children got from Santa yesterday.In fact, they included filthy messages.
They are two of 10, inappropriate letters dropped in mailboxes across Ottawa in the last two days, but there could be more.
Yesterday, Canada Post shut down its Write To Santa program across the city while it joins Ottawa police to hunt down the "rogue elf."
What?! What a travesty. The program has been around for years; kids write to Santa using the postal code H0H0H0, and postal workers speaking on behalf of the Jolly Old Elf write the replies. And check out some of the replies these sick bastards (okay, one or two sick bastards) are writing:
"P.S. - This letter is too long, you dumb shit."
"Your mom sucks dick and your dad is gay."
Huh!? Oh, man. If the letters were going to adults it would be funny in a twisted way, but when I think of my niece or nephew getting one of these it pisses me right off. Kids are, or should be, off-limits from this kind of humour.
Watch it, Santa. There's enough in the paintball gun for you, too. Prick.
Har. And so it goes. Several bloggers have taken a helpful run at making Day By Day funny, but I'm not that ambitious or that funny. I thought it might be interesting, though, to see what it would look like if it was written in a different style. What if DBD was written in the style of, say, Charles Bukowski?
Yeah, pretty lame, but lamer than the original? Hmm.
