Thursday, November 23, 2006

Dobson doesn't have time to "cure" Haggard

Focus on the Family freak James Dobson told Larry King last night that he was asked to serve on a "restoration" panel for Pastor Ted Haggard, that would "restore" him from being gay back to being not gay. However, Dobson said he didn't have enough time, as "It might take 4 to 5 years". (I wonder how long it would take him to cure me of having brown eyes. I've always wanted green eyes, without the hassle of coloured contacts.)

Five years! Clearly, once someone has caught The Gay, it's a lot harder to restore them to non-gayness than it is to just prevent The Gay in the first place. Last year on the FOTF website Dobson had some advice for dads wanting to protect their sons from contracting The Gay.

"Meanwhile, the boy's father has to do his part. He needs to mirror and affirm his son's maleness. He can play rough-and-tumble games with his son, in ways that are decidedly different from the games he would play with a little girl. He can help his son learn to throw and catch a ball. He can teach him to pound a square wooden peg into a square hole in a pegboard. He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger." (The article was removed from the FOTF site. I wonder why. But the entire ignorant screed is posted and parsed here, for your ridiculing pleasure. You can run but you can't hide, Dobbie... kind of like when you're gay.)

All-righty, then! Adult men in consentual relationships - bad. Men and boys showering together - good (but creepy). While we might laugh and dismiss all this as the unmitigated bullshit that it is, it's important to remember the wingnuts responsible for it aren't just an American phenomenon -- Canada's become likewise infested with nut-hatches like FOTF Canada, the Canadian Values Institute, Canada Family Action Coalition, etc. that aren't going away until the Conservative government does. So today's word is "strategic", as in "strategic voting" -- it's the only way to get this done.

Oh and, Pastor Ted? Don't throw away Mike's pager number.