Sunday, December 10, 2006

Jesusland, Canada

Social conservatives are whimpering and licking their wounds after the motion to reopen same-sex marriage got a well-deserved asskicking last week. The hardest boot of all was the realization that their own homeboy Steve was playing them for fools, having no intention of delivering on his promises to them. "We must regroup", say the posters at wingnut message board Free Dominion. The next move: a Christian So-Con Nation.

The proposed So-Con Nation would have no gay marriage (no gays, period), no abortions, no feminists, no contraception, no science books, and prayeratoriums replacing Starbucks on every urban street corner. Liberals of all kinds would be unwelcome, but not Mule-fuckers and bugshit insane wingnut extremists who try to resist falling back into their old gay ways by busying themselves stuffing gory abortion pictures and hate literature about gays into private mailboxes.

Someone generously offered up Alberta to be the new Canadian Jesusland. For a province that came perilously close to electing bigot nutjob Ted Morton as premier, that's not a real stretch. It's unclear what they intend to do about the liberals, gays and feminists that currently reside in Alberta, but I have a bad feeling that they'd come up with something.

As long as everyone normal gets out in time, I kind of like the thought of them all confined to one province; that way, those of us in the reality-based community know where not to go. And imagine no longer having to hear the squealing, squawking minority of religious dipshits who want to dictate our every move... Please, flying spaghetti monster, let it be true.