about the War on Christmas.
The rightie-tightie religicons maintain that for some years now, "the leftists" have been feverishly waging an unrelenting War on Christmas. Our Mission: to destroy Christmas by any means necessary. We wouldn't rest (ye merry gentlemen) until Christmas lay in smoldering ruins, then we'd piss on it to douse the remaining fire.
However, it appears that we are failing in Our Mission. StageLeft has been monitoring the progress of the War on Christmas by tracking successful attacks by Warriors on Christmas, and to date, not even a single skirmish has been won. Nobody has been kept from celebrating Christmas, saying "Merry Christmas", buying Christmas presents, or making that gross Christmas fruitcake. In spite of our best efforts, Christmas is winning.
I tried my best. I said "Merry War on Christmas" to customers at work. I asked people if they were "all ready for the War on Christmas". I went out this morning and bought some War On Christmas presents. My War on Christmas lights have been a-twinkling in the window for over 2 weeks. Tomorrow I'll decorate my War on Christmas tree. But even with all that effort, the War on Christmas seems to be a lost cause. The shock and awe that we were sworn to unleash on Christmas turned out to be... a dud.
We only have two more days to make this happen, troops. Do you suppose a War on Christmas Surge would work?
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