Monday, June 23, 2008

Can't blame them

They're our kids, all in their 20s and 30s now. Many of them became pretty awesome, intelligent and progressive young people, but others went as Wonderbread straight and conservative as their 50s-generation grandparents. While they're usually known as Generation X or Y, I call these puling young conservatives "Generation Whine", and there's nothing like the passing of a boomer icon like George Carlin to gear their incessant mewling straight up into overdrive: good good, another dead hippie, nyeah, nyeah.

What is it with these sour and dour young curmudgeons? With half of their lives still ahead of them, they should be happy, but they clearly aren't -- they're the most miserable and humourless demographic to come along yet. They gripe and grouse and piss and moan about everything, but there's nothing they like to whine about more than how they got the short end of some imaginary inter-generational stick, having been left with nothing but the crumbs from the boomer cake. Poor things. All together now:

It's obvious what the problem is, and who can blame them? These people came of age in the 80s and 90s -- ewww! -- with horrible clothes, ugly hair, shitty music and a wretched economy. They were the first generation to grow up thinking sex would kill if the sun's rays didn't get them first. But worst of all, they missed


which were even more amazing, fantastic and cool and wonderful than these sour little straight-arrows jealously imagine. Who can blame them for being pissed that they arrived just as the fun stopped? And I wonder if that's a coincidence...