Tuesday, September 26, 2006

George and Hamid speak: "They're out there! They're mean!"

"Press Conference At The White House" was playing today, starring Afghan President Hamid Karzai and George W. Bush. "We're On The Offensive!" was the general plot.

Karzai -- I really wanted to like this guy, but it's hard when he's regurgitating white house talking points like one of Karl Rove's wind-up toys. Talking about the possibility that the US might leave Afghanistan (they're barely there anyway), Karzai related the story of a female American soldier he met who had left her 7(!) children behind in America to go to Afghanistan and help build a road. (Left her 7 children behind to go out to work?? I wonder how that plays with the religious right: Lesbian-feminazi!! Those kids are lucky they dodged the coathanger.)

Questions turned to the recent intelligence report that the Iraq war is making terrorism worse. In a breathtaking display of pretzel logic, George countered that: "We weren't in Iraq on September the 11th® and we got attacked! We weren't in Iraq in 1993 when the WTC was bombed, we weren't in Iraq when the USS Cole was bombed... They'll always have excuses to attack us!" So one more can't make things any worse. It reminds me of the time my ex was out partying with a buddy into the wee hours, and his friend said "Why bother calling your old lady? You're already in trouble, might as well keep on partyin'". Keep on partyin', Georgie.

Ironically, Bush took aim at the timing of the report's publication, saying its findings were 6 months old and "here we are going into an election campaign and there it is on the front page of your newspaper!" That's right, Georgie, attack the messenger. And let's not forget about this bin laden video, or that report that bin laden's dead, or this "terrorist cell" arrested in London. Pot, meet Kettle. When he started to flounder, as he inevitably does, it was Karzai to the rescue: "The terrorists came to you on September the 11th® Do we forget the people jumping off the 80th floor when the plane hit..." Thanks for the visual, you scumbag. I'm sure the people who jumped would be pleased that their horrific deaths are now being used as propaganda.

Finally, a reporter referred to Bill Clinton's interview on fox news; "President Clinton said you didn't TRY!" Amazingly, the reporter allowed Bush to squirm out of the question and segue to how congress needs to pass the Torture Bill, because "They're out there! They're mean! And they need to be brought to justice!" Ohmyfuckingod, you couldn't make this shit up.

Hamid, you blew it. I really wanted to like you. But as usual, the press blew it even worse. I wish that just one of the reporters had asked Karzai the question that he was asked on CBC a couple of days ago -- "what if the $300billion spent on Iraq had instead been spent on Afghanistan?: He would have had to give the same answer today as he did on Sunday: "We would be heaven."