HAHAHAHAHA!

The Gay Agenda... strikes again!!! From FD:

"The more I thought about it..." and how much was that, pally? It seems to me that it would require some pretty intense fantasizing to get all that out of "Like my shorts?".

Unless the other guy answered "No, but I like what's in them!"

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

B-b-b-buh-buh-but it's my Free Speech to steal Intellectual Property!!!

And so continues the devaluation of the whole free speech concept...

Achtung, Democrats!

Oh mein Gott! Here's news you can use, Dems: Illinois Republican congressional candidate Tony Zirkle goes to a birthday party.

Tony Zirkle, Tony Zirkle... oh, that Tony Zirkle! Shredden dein Playboy fur makin more shtumppin!

Egads, whenever I start thinking our wingnuts are bad, I just look southward and take a boo at theirs...

(h/t: Dr. Dawg)

What took so long?

I'm amazed this comparison hasn't been made before now, but if anyone can dig up heretofore unused analogies and try to apply them to abortion, it's SUZANNE:

Next up: "the War in Afghanistan vs. Abortion". What? No??

The evidence

Over the weekend, Wingnuttia's grunts of indignation rose to a squealing fever pitch following Robert Fife's "knuckledragger" comment on CTV's Thursday night news: "We all know that there are some knuckledraggers in Mr. Harper's caucus..." Gotta love it, a reporter finally tells it like it is, instead of upchucking the usual politically-correct euphemisms ("Uh... a little old-fashioned... errr morals and values... umm traditional..."). How refreshing.

Although I found Fife's comment pretty funny highly amusing hysterical, partisan politics isn't really what I want to see when I watch the news. I expect the traditional media to keep a safely non-partisan distance from what they report -- they report, I decide. However, the fact that there are some(?) knuckledraggers in the CPC is something that's been tacitly acknowledged for years, and Fife's off-the-cuff comment just highlights how bad things really are. And it doesn't take long to find The Evidence.

Consider this: musing on the Tom Lukiwski situation, well-known right-wingnut combox defiler "John West" blogs (google John West, I won't link to it):

"Men with beer" *grunt*

Okay, so John apparently hangs out with groups of men (with beer), and when the topic of homosexuals comes up (and why wouldn't it!!?), they have nothing friendly to say. (But it's not their fault that they're bigots -- they were born that way.) I won't dwell on the irony that "hanging out in groups of men (with beer)" is something gay men do occasionally, too, including some who at one time claimed to be "repulsed by visions (that they couldn't get out of their heads) of the gay lifestyle". But John's on a roll... take it away, John:

"We are all a little racist and we are all a little homophobic"... is that so? Not only that, but we're all thieves and liars too -- bigots, liars and thieves... (cue Cher: "we'd hear it from the people of the town, they'd call us...") If this guy's speaking for Conservatopia in general, it's safe to say the pinch is in. And don't even try to deny it!

Civility in unexpected places

There's "She Who Must Be Obeyed"


and then there's "They Who Must Be Googled"



Now that's what I call considerate.

Just say no

Shorter SUZANNE: "Don't have abortions, but don't use contraception to avoid having abortions because contraception sometimes fails. The only solution: Quit doing the wild thing, you lustful libidinous libertines!"

"Pro-lifers: when you advise people to use contraception, you are perpetuating the problem, not stopping it. Because they use contraception, and it fails, and they go out and have another abortion.

The only surefire way to avoid an unintended pregnancy is to avoid sex."

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Good luck with that. (But is it any wonder that so many conservative men get caught with their pants down? Even more to the point, is it any wonder they all seem so tense and humourless?)

D'oh!

What happens when a Conservative candidate runs for office, loses, and lets their campaign website domain name expire? Well, what else? Some net-savvy nerd, knowing there's sure to be another election at some point in the near future, grabs the domain names and directs them to something like this:

Whoops! Is that what them there young whippursnappurs call "pwnage"?

Connie at FD discovered her old candidate's site was highjacked, and a couple more:

"Allowing the domains to expire, however, was an incredibly bad idea, as I found when I decided to visit our former candidate's site at: www.lougrimshaw.ca. " [...]

"Ottawa Centre's www.keithfountain.ca has been likewise hijacked, as has Ajax-Pickering's www.rondothomas.ca."

Another one of the candidates whose domain name was hijacked, Richard Majkot, is running again in the next election, and he is anything but pleased. (Go to www.richardmajkot.ca to find out why!) And he's only one: the kid responsible has over 200 domain names associated with his email addy. I wonder how many others he grabbed that belonged to CPC candidates?

It's hard, but they'll get the hang of the internets toobz sooner or later.

Weekly FD tour

This week's tour was most enlightening. Now I know where my relationships went wrong -- too much enjoyment and not enough restraint, discipline, sacrifice and suffering:

Sounds serious. Where abortion and contraception go, death, destruction and, um, tolerance follow. Huh? What!?

Ever wonder how Madame Zelda's Spankatorium stays in business? Wonder no more.

And for anyone who can't understand why the pro-choice side of the reproductive freedom equation won't give an inch, there ya go. That should tell you all you need to know.

Barfapalooza

Twisted, bad and wrong in every possible way:

"Whatever happened to little girls playing with dolls and dreaming of becoming wives and mothers? Whatever happened to young men looking for a good Christian wife and finding a young woman still clinging to her doll?"

Clinging to her doll?! How about clinging to the handlegrips of her Harley?

Dispatches from the Cave.

(via pharyngula)

Incoming!!!

One thing I'll say for Jill Stanek, she may not like me but she can tell the difference between the satirical and the subversive. She's agreed to put a little © beside My Word, fetusmobile© , which indicates that for a wingnut, she's at least got a sense of something resembling humour. And that's a lot more than I can say for some of her commenters. Behold the sour and dour as they defame me:

Not much to add to that, except... I gotta be me!

"Brett" chimes in to make a pre-emptive strike on a grave and growing "thread drift" threat:

Now this guy starts off well -- exactly, don't focus on me! Birth Pangs deserves at least as much of this as I do. You might even say BP was the flight attendant that securely fastened the seat belt for my ride to hell. But back to the Brettster; Brett impresses me by using the correct term "pro-choicer" instead of the usual hysterical hyperbole like "babykiller", so he definitely starts off on the right track... but then... His inevitable derailment is quick and ugly as he plunges into a morass of psychoanalysis and sumo wrestling. What?! (That's what I said!) Somehow he seques through the sumo wrestling and wounded pride seamlessly enough to end on a high note, with talk of doing those thangs that Christians are supposed to do... but regrettably, most often don't.

But never mind that. Further down the page, a much more disturbing comment:

A full scale 30 day prayer assault! And so begins The Unrepentant Offensive. I got my helmet on and I'm locked and loaded, baby... Bring! It! On!

Update for a few words from another Prayer Assault target: Prole at A Creative Revolution has been helping me man the barricades here and in doing so has put herself in harm's way -- ("UOH and her friends") -- here's what she has to say about it all.

They're so cute when they don't get it

Yesterday I posted about a little discussion I was having with SUZANNE about the difference between choice and choices, and it seems to have sparked the interest of some of her less-gifted compatriots.

Leonard here decides to step in and "help" SUZANNE -- trust me, pal, she doesn't need help (must. not. make. snarky. comment), she's dealing. Leonard thinks she does, so he makes his own postulation that I, Ungrateful Slut that I am, should be thanking some weirdy-beardy in the sky for those supersized megafamilies, because when those kids enter the workforce they'll be funding my retirement.

Say WHAT? Naturally, I wanted to put that little steamer to rest pretty damn quick. So I amended my post to say:

"...Newsflash, pally: 40 years of busting my ass working and paying CPP premiums, and making smart investments in property, RRSPs, mutual funds etc. will be paying for MY retirement. Those kids will be paying for YOURS."


Perhaps I worded this a little clumsily, or maybe Leonard has reading comprehension problems... the sad reality is probably a bit of both. At any rate he seems to have completely, totally and utterly, and I mean ZOOOOM! right over his head, missed my point, because today he's on another friggin tear, following up with a post hectoring and lecturing me on the vagaries of the CPP system... like I give a flying fart! The whole point of my little update/newsflash-to-Leonard was that I couldn't give a happy monkey-fuck about CPP.

Yeah, I've been working and paying into it all these many years, but while I've been doing that I've also been making (good if not excellent) investments: RRSPs, real estate, mutual funds, gold, some dot-com when it was happening, etc etc blah blah blah. So basically my message was: stuff your CPP!!! I certainly don't mind paying into it for the benefit of other old folks, but rely on it myself? Surely you jest. I can take care of myself just fine. But somehow that happy little factoid was lost on Leonard, or more likely, purposely omitted so he could do a post schooling and scolding me on the ways of CPP. Like I care?! I replied to said post that he forgot to mention my main point, which was that investments not CPP will be paying for my retirement, and I hoped he'd be able to do the same, because CPP... errr sounds like a pretty socialist concept to me!

Leonard buddy: listen up, slick -- whatever you think you're trying to do here, give it up. You'll lose. Nah, don't bother to apologize. Just top up that RRSP, get a fucking broker, and someday you too will be able to tell people like you to Get Stuffed. HAHAHAHAHA!