Swears like a sailor

Not!

My quarterly (or so) Cuss-O-Meter test shows that nothing's changed since the last time (5.9%). I am still as pure as the driven snow... even marginally purer, if that's possible. 5.6%!? That's pretty meek for someone who was recently described as "swearing like a sailor". 'Fraid not! Maybe I need to change things up a bit with something like this.

Curse-a-thon!

No wait... make that "goddamn fucking curse-a-thon"!

Via Canadian Cynic, I discovered the "Blog Cuss-o-meter", which measures the amount of profanity on a blog. Predictably, CC performed well, with almost 1/3 of the pages containing "cussing". I thought I'd run a test on my place to see where I stood, and:

Surprise surprise surprise, Gomer: "Cuss Level: LOW" -- 100% less -- What the fuck!!???!

And I thought I'd make that baby explode into a star-studded profanity-peppered climax of cursage! Low? This needs my, and your, immediate attention. Any comments left must be *liberally* spiced with profanity. I wanna bury the needle on that shit-piss-fuck-cunt-cocksucker-motherfucker-tits-o-meter!

4pm fucking update:

Not fucking good enough, my friends, not fucking good enough.