Rep. David Vitter's wife once said she was "more like Lorena Bobbitt than Hillary Clinton", referring to Hillary's forgiveness of Bill's extra-marital escapades. Ruh-roh! Now that David Vitter's been caught swinging it here, there and every whichway but loose, he might want to hide that Wiltshire Staysharp Knife Set he gave her for their anniversary. Meanwhile, supporters have started a campaign to save his weewee from the chopping block:
Wearing a cast-iron jock strap wouldn't hurt either! Hahahahahaha!
"DC Madame" Deborah Jeane Palfrey was able to publish her phone records the other day, effectively turning over a rock and sending even more little grubs skittering in all directions. One of them, Republican Senator David Vitter, cried that it was a one-time "sin from the past" for which he's received counselling and Wifey's forgiveness. Uh, whoops! Make that a two-time SFTP. (Followed by 2(b), 2(c), 2(d) etc.) One couldn't be blamed for getting the idea that this guy is a regular "whoremonger", to use an old biblical term.
But so what? Aren't they all? I wouldn't even bother poking at this slimeball with the Sharp Stick of Snark except once again, he's an exceptionally shining beacon of hypocrisy. Vitter is a real "family values" Republican who used his wife and kids as campaign props in his commercials to show what a great family values guy he is, and shore up the support of those who are fighting the imaginary battle against the enemies of Traditional Marriage. Watch his commercials from 2004:
Barf.
But I can imagine him being so stressed out by the hard work of projecting fake family values sweetness for these commercials that he had to rush off to a Sin Bin for a relaxing little rub 'n tug session. And of course, it wouldn't end with the commercials -- he'd have to follow up! It'd be like making commercials all the time (well, most of the time). What could be more anxiety-provoking than that? Getting caught, I guess.
