The Whining Wall

400 moaning, groaning, whining and wailing batshit-crazy fundamentalist chimps, all gathering in Ottawa to protest Canada's moral decay? It could only mean one thing -- WANKAPALOOZA is in town!:

"The Bible says the meek shall inherit the Earth, but there was no trace of meekness in Faytene Kryskow and her passionate preaching yesterday on Parliament Hill.

"We're going to turn Parliament Hill into the Wailing Wall," Ms. Kryskow told about 400 followers spread out on Parliament's front lawn. The prayer gathering is known as The Cry, a rally for fundamentalist youth who believe mainstream Canadian society is morally bankrupt.

Ms. Kryskow, one of The Cry's leaders, urged the young people in the crowd to send out "prayer waves" that would incite a revolution against Canada's secular humanism."

400 wankers protesting -- sounds familiar. "Hire-A-Wank" must be doing a brisk business this summer.

There's batshit and bad shit

Anyone with even a passing familiarity with the most virulent fetus fetishists and homophobic whackjobs in Canada has heard of extremist shrieker Bill Whatcott. When "Wartcott" isn't stuffing gross abortion pictures or anti-gay propaganda into the mailboxes of unsuspecting homeowners (and oh how I wish I could catch him trying to pull that on my property), he's happily marching at the head of gay pride parades carrying signs denouncing the evil Rainbow Conspiracy. And of course, famously (and repeatedly) posting pictures of anal warts, prolapsed rectums and other ass issues (assues!) on FD and whatever other sites still allow him to do his strange and scummy thing -- hence the nickname, "Wartcott".

Predictably, Wartcott is anything but pleased with the Morgentaler Order of Canada award, and went out of his way to express his displeasure scatalogically. Who knew that "feces flinging" was more than a metaphor!? Astonishingly, the post where Wartcott delightedly describes how he shat on a picture of the Order of Canada and mailed it to the GG sat festering in the Blogging Tories message bowl for at least half a day before it was flushed. Hopefully it was there long enough for Stephen Harper to get an up-close look at his socon base.

Wartcott's clearly gone the extra distance and outdone himself this time; pictures of anal warts pale in comparison to the transmission of an actual turd via Canada Post. Maybe it's time to leave anal warts behind (heh) and come up with a new nickname for Wartcott, one that more aptly personifies the new nadir of rotten creepiness he's achieved... Shitcott? Crapcott? Sir-Crap-A-Lot?

While we're at it, maybe we could help SUZANNE come up with a name for the new conservative version of the Order of Canada that she's proposing. Order of Wankerda? Odour of Canada? Brainstorm, guys, brainstorm!