Miserable lying douchebag

Satisfied for the moment with the level of spittle-flecked, foaming-at-the-mouth hatred she's whipped up in the GOP's racist base, Sarah Palin turns her attention to the anti-abortion lunatics, who as we all know have absolutely no history of spinning out and spiraling into violence. Working the stage and her rabid audience with yet another hysterical anti-Obama tirade yesterday in Pennsylvania, Palin conjured up visions of babies left to die on hospital floors by the order of the Bad Black Man:

"The GOP Vice-Presidential nominee saved her most scathing assault when talking about the Born Alive Protection Act, “Most troubling though, most troubling even, is that as a State Senator, Barack Obama wouldn’t even stand up for the rights of infants born alive during an abortion. These infants, often babies with special needs, they’re simply left to die. And in 2002, Congress unanimously passed a federal law to require medical care,” Palin said. “They are living breathing babies. But Sen. Obama describes them as pre-viable.”

Palin added, “Sen. Obama is a politician who has long since left behind even the middle ground on the issue of life.”"

And Sarah Palin is a politician who has long since left behind even the middle ground on the issue of Truth.

As ridiculous as it is, the terrible, pearl-clutching tale of how Obama opposed the "Born Alive" bill because he "favours infanticide" (of course!) has been flogged relentlessly by anti-choice organizations like National Right to Lie Life, who even made TV commercials about it. Launch the swiftboats! Just one little problem: the story is thoroughly debunked bullshit.

Obama voted against the "Born Alive" bill because it was so poorly-crafted. He's on record as stating that he'd support a similar bill as long as it was worded in such a way that it didn't endanger abortion rights. But of course that's what pisses them off, those who disseminate these odious lies, isn't it?

So Palin lied -- again -- for the sole purpose of ratcheting up the hate. Again. If Senator McCain is sincere about wanting to dial down the vitriol, he needs to let the rest of his campaign in on it. And if he really wants to do the right thing, unceremoniously dumping Palin from the ticket and kicking her lying douchebag ass back to Alaska to answer for her dishonesty up there would be a good start.

Turdblossom: the couch years

Because it can't be called "retirement" until you're at least 60, and he's got a ways to go.

I can only imagine how Mrs. Turdblossom is dreading August 31st, her last day of freedom. For years, Rove has worked non-stop at his diabolical plots against the people of America (sort of like Osama bin Laden) -- he probably only rarely sees his old lady. As of September 1st, he'll be Home For Good: that grave and gathering threat must loom like a death sentence.

Turdy's first week of unemployment will be The Week of Good Intentions: he'll throw on some sweats with the goal of using all that newfound unlimited free time to start working off some of his flab with a little jogging, and flop out on the couch for a rest afterwards. This'll work for a day or two, but pretty soon the run-to-rest ratio will be inverted and the daily exercise routine will consist of jogging from bedroom to bathroom to kitchen for cheetos, and then a sprint to the finish line: the couch.

At that point, it's only a matter of time before the sweats are replaced by a bathrobe -- why get dressed if you're not going anywhere -- the healthy water bottle by a beer, and the cheetos... well, they stay... and things go rapidly downhill from there. Soon it's as horrific a visage as you're ever likely to see: Rove, middle of the day, couch, TV, cheetos, beer, open bathrobe, maybe flogging the dog a little when he sees a John Edwards campaign commercial... you get the idea. Once in awhile he might call up his pal Wolfowitz, who's been lounging on his own couch for a couple of months, and they'll laugh about Scooter, the war in Iraq, and discuss good couch-lounging strategies. They may even occasionally get together on one or the other's couch to do that thang they do in unison.

How long until Mrs. Turdblossom bails, like so many tormented women before her?

Rove bolts

When the going gets tough, the tough get scurrying away like wimpy little wussies. The rats are jumping ship and frantically paddling for high and dry ground as fast as their fat little legs with let them! Fucker!!!

"WASHINGTON: Karl Rove, close political adviser to US President George Bush and a lightning rod for anger among Democrats, has said he will leave the White House at the end of this month.

A White House spokeswoman confirmed yesterday that Mr Rove would quit in late August, describing it as a "big loss".

"I just think it's time," Mr Rove said in an interview with the Wall Street Journal published on Monday. "There's always something that can keep you here and, as much as I'd like to be here, I've got to do this for the sake of my family."

Liar! Bastard!!! How dare he deprive me of one of the main attractions for the hot air balloon party I was planning for the day he was dragged out of the white house in handcuffs and leg irons!? Pusillanimous little prick!!!

Bookmark me, already

This is some weird stuff on my site meter. At first I wasn't sure how weird it really was, but now that it's been going on for awhile I'd say it's Officially Weird and enough is enough, I'm calling it out.

A few months ago,during all that "Christian Government" stuff, I started getting hits every few days from the same couple of IP addresses that originally came in from a password protected message board belonging to the nuts at CG. Okay, so I know my blog was linked on that article that they published in their newsletter, therefore it wasn't surprising to get a few hits from them. But since I'd gotten a rather aggressive message from one of them, I was flagging all the hits coming from there and keeping track of the pricks. Eventually their traffic slacked off, but since I was still keeping track, I noticed a couple of IPs that kept returning -- not from the "christian government" site anymore, but from a google search of "unrepentant old hippie". Always a google search.

Two months later, they're showing up more than ever -- at least 2 or 3 times a day (3 times so far today), every day, and still always from a google search. Always. Isn't that kind of weird? Why don't they bookmark me? I bookmark any site I visit more than once a week, let alone 2 or 3 times a day. Why won't they bookmark me!? It's starting to bug me, it's so inefficient.

What are they coming here for? Clearly they're not friendlies, not coming from CG's message board. If they were here because they enjoyed the blog, they'd bookmark it. Why teh Google over and over and over? Why all the mystery? Two possiblitites:

1. Some christian person discovered this blog during the Xtian Government fooferaw and decided that they secretly enjoy it and feel an ever-increasing need to indulge in this dirty little guilty pleasure a few times a day (I'm like crack, baby... can't get enough o'that funky stuff). But they won't bookmark me for fear of detection (or infection);

2. Someone is keeping an eye on this blog (ooh! ooh!).

I'd like to think the first option, but sadly, I doubt it. I'm afraid these weird Google-driven visits are part of the search for incriminating evidence of religion-bashing lefty intolerance that's recently been launched by zealous defenders of free speech. If that's the case, I'll make things easy -- sure, fuck it, I'll take one for the team. Let's see. There was a Jerry Falwell Death Party thread a while back, that's pretty offensive. Also the Virgin Mary urinals, but I was pretty offended by those myself. The 6-Foot Chocolate Jesus posts might have been a bit irreverant. And every third post practically shudders and moans with my desire to get pregnant just so I can have an abortion. Just for spite.

Really, it's easy pickings around here. It it takes a right-wingnut more than a few minutes to find something to be outraged about, I'm not doing my job.