Sheeeeeeee's back! (Part 537)

Oh no. Oh yes! Marsden again. Being weird again. Being bugshit, batshit, head-in-a-360-degree-spin, kaaaaa-razay... again:

"A member of the Ontario police anti-terrorism section is under internal investigation following allegations he disclosed documents and details on national security operations to New York-based conservative political pundit Rachel Marsden.

The Ontario Provincial Police criminal investigations branch has already cleared Constable Tony Backhurst of any criminal wrongdoing. "We have conducted a thorough investigation and determined the complaint to be unsubstantiated," OPP Inspector Dave Ross said."

Like all ill-fated romances, it started so innocently... lust on the rifle range. But the incendiary combination of bullets, BJs and bugfuck insanity can never end well:

"They met two years ago when she was a Toronto Sun columnist. She visited a police firearms range where Const. Backhurst was working as an instructor, and they had a physical relationship, she says.

But in September, Ms. Marsden posted Const. Backhurst's photo on the Internet under the heading "Rachel's Jerk of the Day." The posting identified him as an OPP counter-terrorism officer.

Ouch. Hell hath no fury like a boink buddy scorned. Especially when said boink buddy also happens to be certifiably loony, lunched out, bunny-in-boiling-water psychotic. Marsden claimed that her erstwhile fuck friend was a threat to national security:

"It further claimed the officer had given her "top secret" police files. "So, hey, at least I got something out of this thoroughly deceptive 2 year relationship," she wrote.

Two days later, Ms. Marsden sent a letter to Detective Staff Sergeant Pat Morris of the OPP anti-terrorism section, indicating that Const. Backhurst had shared details of Canadian counter-terrorism operations with her."

Top secret police files? Riiiiight. (And after the next day's BJ he gave her an official map to where Captain Kidd's chest of dubloons is buried.) Marsden backed up her claim with naughty nudie pictures of the officer:

"As proof, Ms. Marsden sent the National Post sexually explicit photos that she said Const. Backhurst had e-mailed to her. But the photos do not show the man's face, and the newspaper could not verify the origins of the images and accompanying letters."

What can this mean? Are Canada's top security secrets tattoo'd on the Love Guns of our counter-terrorism officers, only readable when they get... excited? Not a bad idea, but I'm not buying it, and neither are the cops -- and to top it all off, Const. Backhurst has filed charges against Marsden for... for... what could it be... think hard... drum roll...

STALKING!

"The stalking investigation is now complete and has now gone to Crown prosecutors, who will decide whether to charge Ms. Marsden. A South Simcoe police officer informed her of the investigation last weekend."

But you already knew that, didn't you?

(h/t A Creative Revolution)

The weasel has landed

Whackjob Coulter wannabe Rachel Marsden, cut loose from the Toronto Sun this week to spin wildly around the media-o-sphere like a rapidly-deflating hot-air balloon, came in for a landing exactly where many of us predicted she would: Canada Free Press, aka Canada Wingnut Daily. Good good, that's just the right spot for her writing (if by "writing", you mean vapidly hysterical tripe tossed at the page like monkey-feces). She may have contributed to CFP before now, who knows -- at least now it's "home".

Her CFP column today shrieks hysterically about losing the war on Teh Islamofascism, and cites her recent firing as proof that people just don't get it -- How To Do War. (Because RM is an expert military strategist, doncha know.) I must have missed the point when the Rules Of Engagement were revised to include the media doling out regular doses of the paranoid screeching of batshit-crazy howler monkeys... tsk. My bad!!!

The Not-So-Divine Ms. M then revisits her waterboarding fetish, comparing the torture technique to competitive swim training bobbing for apples at a kids' Hallowe'en party:

Last week, in my weekly Sun Media column, I argued that it’s really not that big of a deal to make terror suspects like 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed essentially do what any kid does at Halloween when he bobs for apples--except in the presence of the CIA, and with the prize in the terrorist’s case being lifesaving information.

Yes yes, and as we all know, it's been proven that torture is an effective way to get information. Bobbing for apples? Well, that's not what Malcolm Nance says, and he's ex-military and has personally supervised waterboarding training sessions. And it's certainly not what former assistant AG Daniel Levin says, and he's actually been waterboarded. It's not too hard to figure out who has more credibility.

But hey, it's Canada Free Press: who's reading? I mean, who's reading that's relevant to anything? CFP readers are about as relevant as CFP writers.

Update: If you haven't already, read Dave's take.

I love the smell of (metaphorical) napalm in the morning

...smells like victory:

Controversial Sun Media columnist Rachel Marsden is history.

Axing her column comes none too soon for a large segment of Toronto Sun readers who protested her pro torture comments Oct. 31 during Wolf Blitzer's CNN show and in her column on Monday.

As blogger Dennis Earl noted Wednesday afternoon, most Sun Media online traces of Rachel's Monday column were gone, although it could still be read on canoe.ca.

So we put it to Sun sources - is she toast?

"It's true, Rachel will no longer be writing for the Sun," a source told TSF last night."

Rachel "Torture Is A Swimmingly Good Idea" Marsden has a message on her website for all of us dhimmis:

Attention terrorists and Islamofascists: You can now read the Toronto Sun without having your delicate sensibilities offended, as my weekly column is no longer with Sun Media. I am exploring US syndication and other venues for the column. In the meantime, you can continue to read it here at RachelMarsden.com every Monday. - Rachel, November 7/07."

Freedom of speech is one thing; stupidity of speech -- in the media -- is another. The media has been used and abused to spread this kind of divisive hyperbole for too long. Our 4th Estate is essential to the democratic process; we need information, not bullshit, if we're to make it work.

Good work to everyone who objected. See? We can do it. Oh, and Rachel? McBye.

(h/t matt)

For the confused (ie. Toronto Sun)

Here's a little primer on the so-called "coercive interrogation" (read: torture) technique known as waterboarding, from a Navy instructor, Malcolm Nance, who personally supervised hundreds of waterboarding sessions done to teach Navy Seals how to resist torture:

"1. Waterboarding is a torture technique. Period. There is no way to gloss over it or sugarcoat it. It has no justification outside of its limited role as a training demonstrator. Our service members have to learn that the will to survive requires them accept and understand that they may be subjected to torture, but that America is better than its enemies and it is one’s duty to trust in your nation and God, endure the hardships and return home with honor.

2. Waterboarding is not a simulation. Unless you have been strapped down to the board, have endured the agonizing feeling of the water overpowering your gag reflex, and then feel your throat open and allow pint after pint of water to involuntarily fill your lungs, you will not know the meaning of the word.

Waterboarding is a controlled drowning that, in the American model, occurs under the watch of a doctor, a psychologist, an interrogator and a trained strap-in/strap-out team. It does not simulate drowning, as the lungs are actually filling with water. There is no way to simulate that. The victim is drowning. How much the victim is to drown depends on the desired result (in the form of answers to questions shouted into the victim’s face) and the obstinacy of the subject. A team doctor watches the quantity of water that is ingested and for the physiological signs which show when the drowning effect goes from painful psychological experience, to horrific suffocating punishment to the final death spiral.

Waterboarding is slow motion suffocation with enough time to contemplate the inevitability of black out and expiration –usually the person goes into hysterics on the board. For the uninitiated, it is horrifying to watch and if it goes wrong, it can lead straight to terminal hypoxia. When done right it is controlled death. Its lack of physical scarring allows the victim to recover and be threaten with its use again and again.

Call it “Chinese Water Torture,” “the Barrel,” or “the Waterfall,” it is all the same. Whether the victim is allowed to comply or not is usually left up to the interrogator. Many waterboard team members, even in training, enjoy the sadistic power of making the victim suffer and often ask questions as an after thought. These people are dangerous and predictable and when left unshackled, unsupervised or undetected they bring us the murderous abuses seen at Abu Ghraieb, Baghram and Guantanamo. No doubt, to avoid human factors like fear and guilt someone has created a one-button version that probably looks like an MRI machine with high intensity waterjets." (emphasis mine)

Does that sound like competitive swim training to you?

(from TPM Muckraker)

What happened to Marsden's torture editorial?

It was listed on that page yesterday. Wish I had a screencap, but I know what I saw.

Odd, she's not even listed with the rest of the columnists on the Sun's homepage today... she was there yesterday.

Could it be?

Could it be???

D'oh!

Sheeeeeee's back!

After being escorted by building security from her Brief Stint at Fox News (fired for "bizarre behaviour"), right wing columnist and batshit insane whackjob Rachel Marsden is back, now writing for Toronto litterbox liner the Sun. It's almost inspiring how Marsden proves time and again that even an unhinged lunatic can get fired from job after job for doing all manner of crazy-ass shit and still someone somewhere will give her another kick at the career can. It seems like the right just can't get enough o' that funky batshit crazy stuff. At first. Then they slowly back away horrified when they see just what they've wrought.

For an idea of how chock full o'nuts Marsden is, here's what the Western Standard's Snotgun, I mean Shitgun, I mean Shotgun Blog had to say about her Brief Stint (all her jobs are Brief Stints) at the NatPo 2 years ago:

"After eight weeks, the, um, controversial and, er, well, let's say ambitious, Rachel Marsden has "severed her relationship with the National Post." And I'm sure that's exactly how it went down. She spurned the Post the same way she spurned Liam Donnelly's advances. And Michael Morgan's. And Neil Boyd's.

Sharp-eyed readers may have noticed that Marsden actually mysteriously stopped appearing in the national pages a few weeks ago (she remained in the Toronto section, which has different editors than the comment section). Then, on Friday came news of the resignation of publisher Les Pyette, who had long been rumoured to be the only guy at Don Mills headquarters who didn't think hiring Marsden was a really bad idea. Not to worry. If Marsden's track record is any indication, she'll be hosting her own national news show in no time."

Even the Western Standard, the nadir of conservative wingnuttery in Canada, thinks Marsden's bugfuck nuts. Res ipsa loquitor... that speaks for itself.

So now she's at the Sun, and oh, lookee here: she's written a column in defense of waterboarding, which she insists is just like competitive swim training. Huh?! This is typical grist for the Marsden mill -- with no real writing talent, she relies completely on controversy. Stupid controversy. Stupid, lowest-common-denominator controversy.

There was a time when I could just roll my eyes and laugh at such turditude, but you know what? This shit isn't funny anymore. Not when we have a government that clearly doesn't give a damn what 80% of Canadians think, that's made a unilateral decision to allow the outsourcing of capital punishment and put us on a slippery relativistic slope that ends in the Green Room. Because mouthpieces like Marsden tell us in soothing tones that torture is nothing more than a swim workout and capital punishment sends a good law and order message, Canadians are sleepwalking into authoritarianism. This abuse of media has to stop, and Marsden would be a good place to start. Write the Sun, write your MP, write the Sun's advertisers... make the bullshit stop.

A Creative Revolution has lots of linkies. So does Bastard.Logic. Go, write, scream, yell. This is where the bullshit stops.

(h/t canuck attitude)

Everybody loves Rachel -- not

When you think of the phrase "bugshit-crazy Canadian wingnut - female version" (and I sincerely hope you don't have to do that too often) many things come to mind -- ie. "Rachel Marsden". Yesterday, as a sidebar to another post I mentioned my most schadenfreudelicious discovery that Ms. Batshit Insane has received a well-placed BOOT square to the ass and out the door of her former place of employment, Fox News -- the boot? From Fox? Holy sheepshit! Nothing says "brain damage" like getting the boot from Fox.

Yesterday afternoon, like any good paranoid egotist who's just gotten a swift kick out the door of their former workplace, Rachel started surfing around, looking for a little Technorati love...... and discovered that many of us were more than willing to indulge her. There was Friday afternoon schadenfreude a-plenty! In a panic, Marsden updated her website to explain that it's not only normal, but "standard procedure" for Fox Security Guards to escort ex-employees out the door in handcuffs (okay I'm exaggerating about the handcuffs) and that she's looking forward to the opportunities ahead (which may include the opportunity to give a little head):

Think I'm being Mean? With someone who pretends to be a "news commentator" when they're horking out goofy little snot-balls like this:

"You know your country’s a mess when you have an election and don’t bother getting around to talking about gays and abortion." (Ed. -Because health care, Afghanistan, the environment -- small potatoes compared to the 5 W's of Fucking.)

Mean? You bet I am. And looooooving every minute of it. Like I do every time one of these ignorant, arrogant, self-righteous nitwits takes a fall.

My advice to Marsden would be to push herself away from the computer -- I know it's hard -- and start preparing for the opportunities and challenges ahead. Repeat after me: "Will you be having fries with that?" Hahahahaha!!!