Whoever wins on Tuesday

Georgie is still in power for another 76 days. That's Political Capital, bitches, and he intends to spend it like a drunken sailor:

"The White House is working to enact a wide array of federal regulations, many of which would weaken government rules aimed at protecting consumers and the environment, before President Bush leaves office in January.

The new rules would be among the most controversial deregulatory steps of the Bush era and could be difficult for his successor to undo. Some would ease or lift constraints on private industry, including power plants, mines and farms.

Those and other regulations would help clear obstacles to some commercial ocean-fishing activities, ease controls on emissions of pollutants that contribute to global warming, relax drinking-water standards and lift a key restriction on mountaintop coal mining."

The Ghost of Georgie will be rattling his chains for some time to come.

Georgie does Beijing

Presenting that Man of Action, Panache and Elan...


and All-Around Class Act...

The President of the United States and Leader of the Free World!

Write you own captions, I'm at a loss.

(photos by cameron spencer/getty images, via andrew sullivan)

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Scott McClellan writes a book about his time with the White House, in which he trashes the Bush administration and reveals (among other things) that Georgie "can't remember" if he ever tried cocaine. Ellroon breaks the news to him, gently.

Pot, kettle, blah blah

Oh, this is special. Georgie's in the Middle East lecturing Arabs about legitimate elections and womens' rights:

"Bush urged countries to make their economies more diverse, open to free trade, with lower taxes and protection for intellectual property rights.

He called for political changes that bring competitive, legitimate elections where leaders are held to account..." [...]

Legitimate elections... *cough*Diebold*cough*... Leaders held to account? What's that?

"He urged an expansion of women's rights as "a matter of morality and of basic math. No nation that cuts off half its population from opportunities will be as productive or prosperous as it could be..." "

Very nice rhetoric if it wasn't for the theocratic juggernaut that propelled Georgie into a second term 4 years ago -- those Focus On The Family types who'd like nothing more than to return women to the pre- legal abortion, pre- birth control (and therefore, pre-career) dark ages. I guess because we're allowed to drive to work and don't wear burkhas that get in the way of the gearshift lever, we're supposed to be thankful for small favours. Well, bugger that: hit the road, Georgie, you baffled little turkey.

Mission Accomplished

Good work, Georgie:

"A new poll suggests that President Bush is the most unpopular president in modern American history.

A CNN/Opinion Research Corp. survey released Thursday indicates that 71 percent of the American public disapprove of how Bush is handling his job as president.

"No president has ever had a higher disapproval rating in any CNN or Gallup Poll; in fact, this is the first time that any president's disapproval rating has cracked the 70 percent mark," said Keating Holland, CNN's polling director." (emphasis mine)

You have to admit, that is quite an accomplishment. And five years to the day after this magic moment:

Mission accomplished indeed. That is, if the "mission" was to fuck things up so royally that the world will be years in recovering.

UPDATE: Back by popular demand:

Georgie and the Pope

Pope Benedict XVI is in Washington DC right this very minute, meeting with Georgie. The Pedophile Priest Damage Control Road Show is on a roll:

"POPE Benedict XVI has begun a visit to the US, hoping to heal wounds left in the local church by a decades-long sex scandal he said made him feel deep shame.

The 80-year-old pontiff was given an unprecedented welcome by US President George W. Bush, who was with his wife, Laura, and daughter, Jenna, at Andrews Air Force base near Washington to greet him.

No president has ever welcomed a visiting head of state at the airport."

That's not too surprising -- these days Georgie must have all kinds of spare time for hangin' with Benny. But anyway...

"Benedict will address the sex scandal that has left the US church financially strapped and morally battered at a meeting with Catholic clergy."

Yay! Finally.

"But he is not expected to see victims of priests."

Maybe I'm missing something, but how does he address the sex scandal and "heal the wounds" without seeing any victims? I know he's got that infallibility thing going on, but wow. That's impressive. But never mind that...

The Pope is motoring around DC in the Popemobile, a vehicle that's always fascinated and thrilled me. No doubt its driver will be adhering to the Vatican's Ten Commandments for Driving:

"Got road rage? The Vatican on Tuesday issued a set of “Ten Commandments” for drivers, telling motorists to be charitable to others on the highways, to refrain from drinking and driving, and to pray you make it before you even buckle up." [...]

"The document, “Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road,” extols the benefits of driving —family outings, getting the sick to the hospital, allowing people to see other cultures.

But it laments a host of ills associated with automobiles: Drivers use their cars to show off; driving “provides an easy opportunity to dominate others” by speeding; drivers can kill themselves and others if they don’t get their cars regular tuneups, if they drink, use drugs or fall asleep at the wheel."

Now I know where I've been going wrong -- I usually don't pray until the brakes fail.

Georgie'd rather talk about you-know-what

Ahhhha hahaha. The pious, self-righteous smirk that George W Bush has been wearing around for the last 20 years apparently conceals the lascivious leer of a lecher. According to an evangelical minister who helped Bush Jr. work on Daddy Bush's campaign, when they stayed together on the campaign trail Georgie had no interest in religious-talk. Zero, zip, zilch. He was, however, interested in talking, for hours on end, about -- go on, take a wild guess... awww, way too easy -- sex:

“I tried to read to him from the Bible, because by that time he was sending me these signals,” Wead told me. “But he wasn’t interested. He just rolled over and went to sleep.”

Wead said Bush resisted religious overtures as firmly as sexual ones. “He has absolutely zero interest in anything theological – nothing,” Wead said. “We spent hours talking about sex . . . who on the campaign was doing what to whom – but nothing about God. And I tried many, many times.”"

So Georgie'd rather talk about sex -- for hours at a time, no less -- than talk about God?! Colour me shocked and awed! (Not.) You'll notice Minister Nitwit says "we spent hours talking about sex", not "he" -- so it wasn't exactly a one-sided conversation, it was the two of them. It's always the same with these bible-whomping windbags, beat the bibles in public, beat the baloney in private. I can just picture them in the darkness of their hotel room as the discussion escalated, going at it hammer and tong, jabbering like rats in rutting season. And then -- a mention of the Bible and Georgie rolls over and passes out, spent.

And the bible-thumpers wonder why all they got out of Georgie was the Terri Schiavo circus and a judge or two.

That's it

Cognitive dissonance at its best:

"Ultimately, if this can be done, if the state can be laid out -- what the state should look like -- then it gives people like President Abbas the chance to go to the Palestinians and say, 'You can have their vision of violence or this vision of peace, take your pick.' "

"America can't impose our vision on the two parties," Bush said.

Emphasis mine. Astonishment and disgust also mine.

Georgie slams "Hollywood values"

Obviously Saturday's Meeting of the (no-)Minds in Salt Lake City got Georgie's attention. During his tribute to the new chairman of the joint chiefs yesterday, Georgie made a desperate ploy to re-package the GOP as the "morals-and-values party", as he disparaged what he called "Hollywood Values":

"Many people are surprised when told about the admiral's show business roots. After all, he is humble, well-grounded and filled with common sense. Not exactly what one thinks about when they think of Hollywood values," said Bush."

Harrumph! Damn those Hollywood values! But it might prompt one to wonder: what does one think about when they think of "Hollywood values"? Clandestine and anonymous sexual encounters in public places? Illicit and adulterous trysts with sex trade workers? Meth-fueled gay sexcapades? Pedophilia??? Uh, "Hollywood values" might not be a road the GOP wants to go down at this point, they're probably well past their "best before" date on that one.

Another 16 months of this

The latest Bush-ism from the Decider Guy: "Childrens do learn".

And this guy has his finger on the Panic Button? Line up the tequila shots.

Nice cover, Macleans

Oh dear. All those new conservative subscribers Macleans got when their editorial content took a hard right last year will be having mass-apoplexy when they see this week's cover:

Hahahahahahaha! It looks like something from the Smirking Chimp! Way to go, Macleans!

Caption This

"Uhh... umm... duhhuhh... Hell, ah dunno! Ask me again after Dick wakes up."

Georgie speaks

Now that even Republicans are turning against the Iraq War en masse, Georgie held a desperate press conference this morning to give excuses an update on the lack of progress situation in Iraq. It was the usual steaming load, and a stale steaming load it is at this point. Bottom line: Troops not coming home anytime soon, the "surge" that started 6 months ago hasn't really had a chance to work, if we don't fight them there, they'll be knocking your door down with a battering ram, forks and knives in hand, ready to eat your children.

In the World According to Georgie, the war in Iraq has 4 phases: the liberation of the Iraqi people, elections, quelling sectarian violence, and increasing security so the Iraqi government can take over. Four-plus years down the road and the Iraqi government shows no signs of being able or even willing to take over... not likely that will change in the next 6 months. And speaking of phases of the war, what about the weapons of mass destruction???

One could optimistically say that the first two phases have been semi-completed -- elections have been held and Iraqis are liberated from Saddam, who's toast. But in the process many Iraqis have also been liberated from their hydro and water services, their homes, their country, assorted limbs and for many, their lives -- liberation overkill.

Gotta love Helen Thomas, first question: "Don't you understand that it was us who brought al qaeda into Iraq?" Don't you understand? Ha! She sounded like an exasperated Mom, trying to get an idea through her slow-witted son's thick, numb skull. Georgie's answer: "I was hoping to solve the Iraqi issue diplomatically, Saddam chose the course." Saddam, it's Saddam's fault, waaaahhhh, he did it first, waaaahhhh.

Somewhere there may be people who watch Georgie's pressers with hopeful anticipation of a new message, an acknowledgement of reality, and are inevitably disappointed. The rest of us don't even have to watch, we know the message by heart. And I agree with Ms. Thomas, it is exasperating.

What do you think?

Is that one of those tallboy beer cans in that bag or what?Naaaaahhhhh!

(from spocko's brain)

Ooops

Back in May, France elected a right-wing, pro-American government led by Nicolas Sarkozy. Improved relations between the two countries were naturally anticipated:

"The victory of conservative Nicolas Sarkozy in the French presidential elections on Sunday will likely bring about a shift in the foreign policy of the country, William Keylor, professor of international relations and history at Boston University and a specialist in French politics said. While Keylor noted that the election was fought on domestic issues, he said that Sarkozy would have a more pro-American stance and would like be willing to cooperate more with the U.S."

Well that's special, Nicky and Georgie sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. But I wonder what Georgie thinks of this:

"A senior French politician, now a minister in President Nicolas Sarkozy's government, suggested last year that U.S. President George W. Bush might have been behind the September 11, 2001 attacks, according to a website."

The www.ReOpen911.info website, which promotes September 11 conspiracy theories, has posted a video clip of French Housing Minister Christine Boutin appearing to question that Osama bin Laden's al Qaeda group orchestrated the attacks. Boutin's office sought to play down the remarks.

Asked in an interview last November, before she became minister, whether she thought Bush might be behind the attacks, Boutin says: "I think it is possible. I think it is possible."

Georgie, listen up. This is what your friends are saying about you. You know, the people who are, like, on your side. Time to gooo-ooooo.

Damn

What a surprise! Georgie commutes Scooter's prison sentence:

"President Bush said today that he had used his power of clemency to commute the 30-month sentence for I. Lewis Libby Jr., the former top aide to Vice President Dick Cheney, who was convicted of perjury in March and was due to begin serving his time within weeks.

The action, announced just hours after a federal appeals court denied Mr. Libby’s request to allow him to remain free while his case is on appeal, spares Mr. Libby his prison term, but it does not excuse him from stiff fines or probation." (...)

“I respect the jury’s verdict,” Mr. Bush said. “But I have concluded that the prison sentence given to Mr. Libby is excessive. Therefore, I am commuting the portion of Mr. Libby’s sentence that required him to spend 30 months in prison."

"I respect the jury's verdict, but not enough to let it stand." Ooookay, makes sense to me. Too bad, I was so looking forward to some good summer reading in Libby's "tell-all" book, which was probably yanked from the presses just seconds before this announcement.

Caption this
Crocs and socks, dig it.

(shamelessly swiped, because I just couldn't resist, from dependable renegade)

When Georgie met Ratzi

King Georgie met Pope Ratzi for the first time when they had an "audience" earlier today:

"In a statement, the Vatican said Bush had "warm" talks with the pope and the Vatican's No. 2 official, Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone. They discussed international politics, particularly in the Middle East, the Israel-Palestinian conflict, Lebanon, the "worrisome situation in Iraq" and the "critical conditions in which the Christian communities (in Iraq) are found," the statement said.

The pontiff expressed his hope for a `'regional" and `'negotiated" solution of conflicts and crises that afflict the region, the Vatican said. Attention was also give to Africa, the humanitarian crisis in Darfur and Latin America."

During the discussion, the pope asked that the US double its current commitment to fighting AIDS in Africa. Sounds like an excellent idea, but:

"Skeptics say a significant proportion of the funds are channeled to religious groups advocating abstinence until marriage and refusing to distribute condoms, an approach that many believe is counter-productive and cost lives."

Counter-productive? Stupid even? Well, yes, but it actually makes sense considering both georgie and the pope believe in miracles.

Georgie does the G8Angela Merkel isn't taking any chances.

(Terrible photoshop, I know, I know. Bite me, I'm still on my first coffee.)

Oh noes...

another G8 Summit.

"WASHINGTON (Reuters) - U.S. President George W. Bush left for Europe on Monday with his popularity at home at a low point over the Iraq war and tensions abroad over global warming and missile defense.

Built around the Group of Eight summit in Germany where his host, Chancellor Angela Merkel, had hoped to forge an agreement on climate change, Bush's trip includes stops in Eastern Europe to bolster developing democracies."

Will Chancellor Merkel have bodyguards this time?